Its been a heck of a season for Steph and I. Theres been more frustration, celebration, heartache, joy, and everything inbetween in these past 6 months than I could ever have fathomed going through. We aren’t anywhere near the end of this season, but I think we’re finally starting to be more positive about things.
One of the last times my parents came to help out and spend some time with us, my mom taught Steph how to crochet. Since then she’s been going to town on a blanket for me. Yesterday, though, she changed things up a bit and started working on her first hat. A hat for an infant. A newborn. Its the most beautiful thing you could lay eyes on. We both damn near deydrated ourselves from the tears of joy and heartache. I’m not entirely sure I’ve found my way to grieve completely, but it seems like Steph has found an incredibly beautiful way to work through some of hers.
She is so proud of that hat, and so am I, and its the first of so many. I have no idea what brought Steph to crocheting, but it has given her so much joy and satisfaction. Seeing and hearing her wanting to give to little children she doesn’t even know, wanting to love on them with a love she can no longer give to our daughter. Its admittedly a difficult thing to observe. Things Steph should be doing for our daughter she’s doing for complete strangers. It seems to be cathartic for her.
Crotcheting. Stitch by stitch, until slowly, row by row, a blanket, a hat, a scarf, some creation comes about. I don’t think there’s an end in sight, and thats a very good thing.
For now I’m not sure theres much more to say. My head is in a fog with everything that’s happened as of late, We’re working on finding help for me at home so I can get back to some semblance of a work schedule. It’s admittedly pretty discouraging when you think about what all the hired help would be asked to do. Make me feel like I should be doing more, that I’m being lazing and we don’t need the extra help, but for me to get my ass in gear.
For now, that’s all I can get my mind to focus on to get out…and it’s taken several weeks and multiple attempts to finish this post….
‘Til next time…
Livin' The Schmidty Lyf 
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